used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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