If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
