By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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