It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
