im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
