Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
