What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
