But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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