Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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