Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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