bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
