weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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