Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed