Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...