So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
