Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's like heaven, but drunker
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
