So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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