I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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