Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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