just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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