if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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