Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize