you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
