dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
