he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
