so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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