Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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