My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
