Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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