I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
