I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
