my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
