Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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