I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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