"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
