I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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