He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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