We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
