can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
