I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
