Duck Duck Cougar?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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