Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
