i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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