His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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