Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
