CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Terrible idea I love it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
