It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
