He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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