did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
