bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.