Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."