3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood