so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
