he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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