My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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