At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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