This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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