dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
