there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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