we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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