i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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